This blog failed!

But I didn't learn anything from this experience. So I opened a new blog.



I was working at a Starbucks, not as a Starbucks' employee. It was raining. They were playing "The Doors". And I've found myself singing loud "this is the end, my only friend, the end". And I knew it was all for this blog.
For the few remaining visitors, thanks for reading, I will leave the posts for a while in case you want to read them again. And after a while I will erase them all.


ps: I will start a new blog someday but I won't let you know.


London is so expensive

that I am starting to use toilet paper on both sides.


Salt on sweet cookies?!

Why the english put kilos of salt on the sweet cookies? Must be Xenophobia. What other better explanation?


The big failure of my life...

"The big failure of my life it's been not writing a famous quote".


People talk to me on the streets,

They sit on my table on the bars, they ask where I am from and comment about argentina, they even get into my private phone conversations. Quote from today while talking to a real estate agent: "You shouldn't talk to them, they are thieves".
For some people this could be very disturbing. As for myself, I think I prefer this rather than people not talking to each other. This makes a lot of sense, there is no reason for not talking to other people just because you don't know them.

Now, if you don't belong to my circle of close friends, please get the hell out of my blog.


I am 30 but

Everyday I wake up thinking how good it is not having to go to school.
I wonder when this thought is going to disappear.


Damn powerful advertising,

Being far from home can make you feel lonely, distant, disconnected. But you know what? there is something that always make you feel home. It's not a picture of dad or mom, or a phone call, not even being with someone else. It's the brands that surround your life: If you open the fridge and you find a Coke, you feel home. If your shampoo is on the shower, you feel home. I haven't thought of this before, until my wife made a comment about how she felt regarding the products that she could find here in London.

Could you ever believe that the brands could play such a big part in our lives?


Losing Spanish,

As a result of living in London (it's been one week) I am already losing my spanish. This is pretty common I think, even expected. What I did not expect is to lose my english as well. It's getting worse every day.


Horror comics prohibited,

As crazy as it sounds, horror comics are prohibited from being brought to the UK. This is probably an old rule that they forgot to delete. I don't really understand what kind of harm can a horror comic do.
I am sure that the horror comic writers and painters of the UK are the supporters of this law and they are a famous lobby group with great influence over prince Harry.

They also prohibited the walkie-talkies and porn. Among other random things.


A visit to waitrose,

Waitrose is one of the supermarkets of London. We went to buy toilet paper, which is usually a little embarrassing but if you buy something else that's fine. Even though we all go to the bathroom, it is still awkward to walk with a bag full of toilet paper.
The thing is, we got to that part of the supermarket and there they were: two options for us. The recycle paper, which is good for the healthiness of the planet. And the very very soft paper. We did not know which one to pick:

One of them is a pain in the ass because it's not soft.
The other one is a pain in the ass because it ruins the planet.

I won't say the decision, it's very private. But I can say that my ass is so soft tonight.


Highly expensive apart-blogger carrer,

I am staying in a highly expensive apartment. However, the broadband is not working and I got a Dial up connection. At first I thought that my career as a blogger would be ruin because of this. But wait, I thought, what career as a blogger???


Pregnant Ashley

Getting on the internet from London is a nightmare. I am in a beautiful apart hotel in South Kensington, but still, it sucks. I can't even use the Skype or watch youtube videos. The manager has just sent a letter to all the apartments asking: "please do not download heavy files anymore". Fuck the manager, why would you use broadband without downloading things?
There is another thing that changed regarding the use of internet. Some website recognize my ip address coming from London. So I am seeing more english spoken banners.
One of them said: Daily Poll: Is Ashley Simpson pregnant?

It's crazy. It's like we could influence the pregnancy or not pregnancy of a person! what kind of poll is that?


How to survive in London #1

Thursday. 3 AM. Everyone is sleeping but not us.
Surviving in London is not an easy thing to do. The first thing you need to know is:
The fruits, they sell them by unity and not weight. That's why today I've spent 5 minutes in a hard quest for getting to the biggest avocado. Only because all of them had the same price.
I will keep on posting soon.


Last goodbye party,

I just got back home from my last goodbye party before leaving Argentina. I really wasn't in the mood for party, but I wasn't sad either. I was in the mood of Nostalgia.
I couldn't stop thinking "we should throw a nostalgia party!". We should eat typical argentinian food, seeing old photo albums, remembering old stories. Why not enjoying something very argentinian that you've never liked? Or dress like gauchos.

Celebrate Nos-tal-gi-a, c'mon! (think of celebrate good times).



George Lucas is claiming the copyright over the designs of the costume of Star Wars. The designer has been doing business on his own from this designs. Who is right? I don't know. What I do know is that this two geniuses were capable of selling this shit to thousands of freaks.
However, I am planning to use one on my next wedding anniversary ;)


One less Charlton Heston in the world,

I think we can't celebrate the death of someone. However, this guy deserves it.
I am glad he died of natural causes because this guy would have preferred to die by a bullet.


Bill Gates not looking

The magnate met the argentinian vice president whose trademark is to have a prosthetic hand. As you can tell on the picture, Bill Gates is doing an extraordinary effort thinking of "not to look at the hand, not to look at the hand, not to look at the hand". Picture talks by itself.


The creator of the word: "Bathblogging"

So I sat with my computer and my blog opened on the throne and I went like: Why don't I do a little bit of bathblogging? In that very moment I knew that I was going to be remembered, if remembered, by the invention of the word "Bathblogging".

BATHBLOGGING: The action of blogging while sited on the bath.

It's a good word, isn't? Any experience on how to add it to wikipedia? Greatly appreciate it.

And since I am talking about being remembered, I will remember Paul Arden. I would have loved to meet him.

I should probably separate that last note from the previous one but it's time to get out of here.


Meet Austin, the #1 Boca fan

He is one of the most known characters between kids nowadays. He belongs to the worldwide famous Backyardigans. Her creator, Janice Burgess, based this character on an old uncle of her. As she said on this inverview, he was Argentinian and a big fan of Boca Juniors. That's why Austin never takes the Boca shirt off.



Ukelele playing brazilian prostitutes

Someone got into my blog by typing on google:
"ukulele playing brazilian prostitutes"

My interpretation of this is: there is a guy that would like to see brazilian prostitutes playing ukelele. At first I thought, this guy is a weirdo! but after a short while I thought, "well I would also like to see a brazilian prostitute playing the ukelele, it would be an extraordinary or at least unconventional show".

Anyway, I am proud that people get into my blog in search of such an extraordinary content. I am deeply sorry that I can't deliver the brazilian prostitutes playing ukelele.

How much is your blog worth?

According to this website, they can measure how much is your blog:


So, mine is only:
"Your blog, www.brokenglish.blogspot.com, is worth $564.54".

What they don't do is to pay for it. Otherwise, I would have sold it already for sure.

One funny thing to do is to see how much are other people blogs:
Your blog, www.ciegaacitas.com, is worth $89,197.32
Your blog, dispatchesfromtheisland.blogspot.com/, is worth $102,746.28
Your blog, english.martinvarsavsky.net/, is worth $279,447.30

Post your blogs results!


3 big advices

If I would have to give my child three big advices for his life, I would say:
1-Always hear your heart.
2-Trust your talent.
3-Don't forget your cellphone in a restaurant in which you didn't leave good tip. It's very awkward to get back. I wouldn't like you to live this situation.

I love you.


"Handicap people are people you can trust"

There is two kind of discrimination. Positive and negative. Negative are the ones we all know about. Positives are a little more difficult to find out.
Here is an example of positive discrimination:
"Handicap people are people you can trust".

This is a universal truth: You don't expect a handicap to screw you. But it's so wrong as any other discrimination.

And Paul McCartney's case is a great example of this. He never expected Mills to get half his money! She doesn't have a two legs?! She can't do it.

It's been on the news lately:
The title of the song "Mister Bellamy" of Paul McCartney's new album is an anagram for "Mills Betray Me".

And the handicap girl betrayed him.

Farmers on Strike,

Crisis in Argentina are cyclic. Every couple of years you know that it's coming. Now the farmers are on strike and meat is out of stock in Supermarkets. Argentinians eat meat every day so this is a big deal.
This might be logically wrong but I think it's a fare theory: What if what makes Argentina a failure is eating meat everyday? Or something in our meat? What if we don't eat meat for a while an we come out of the perpetual crisis?
I think that this could be Argentina's best opportunity.

By the way, I am leaving in two weeks.


Moving for men, moving for woman

Every time we move we get to do some order on our things. Therefore, we open old boxes full of memories.
She found a gift from a 3 year old boyfriend, love letters from her sister, a diploma from kindergarden, all kind of beautiful stuff.
I found a collection of pictures of my self ass naked at a cementery, ass naked at the iguazu falls, ass naked with friends in cuba, ass naked in many other places.

I am planning to upload some pictures of asses to facebook. There you have the chance of identifying every ass with a name.


Invest in this plot!

It's for a porn movie.
It all starts with Richard Branson, famous Virgin owner, trying to get a new combustible. So he hires a scientist who would be the main character. This dude discovers that his semen is a wonderful combustible. So the movie is about this guy fucking almost everyone to collect his semen. But that's not it. When this goes public, the whole business around petrol crushes. Middle east countries and Usa/Europe start to fight for this guy.
And I need to work on the end, but there would probably happen an invasion from an alien planet who takes him. This aliens are all women with leather costumes and green skin.
Well, that's pretty much everything.

Would you like to invest sir Branson? anyone?

Starring the black and the blond girl from Hi-five.


I am not someone to trust,

My wife says that changing club preferences is fine for kids but when you are 20 years old you are not allow to change anymore. What can I say? I've felt in love with Boca. Their passion, their kind of players, their stadium, their history. I am so Boca that I couldn't believe that I was a River fan once.
Why not trusting someone who has made such an effort for his beloved team?

I will soon post a picture of myself naked before changing sex.

But one comment said,

A couple of days ago, it was the worst day in the history of my blog: Just 3 visitors.
I am a little proud of this failure to be honest. I keep on writing no matter what. Like the violinist of the titanic, only that I am not on the titanic and I am not violinist either.


One comment said: "I had a bad day and you've made my day". 33,3% of my visitors had dramatically changed the course of their day just because of reading one post of mine.

If the statics persist on trying to make me look as a poor bastard, a walking failure incapable of being read by more than 3 persons in a day, I will keep on posting to change the lives of the readers.

Damn google analytics.